I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
