i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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