Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
