she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
