my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
