I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
