theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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