I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
