Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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