Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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