The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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