ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
