It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize