it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
