I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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