So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize