why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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