i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Terrible idea I love it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
