okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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