There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
