When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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