i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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