weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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