I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
