so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
