Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
