the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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