At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i think i just lost a toe
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
