Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
