I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
