Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
