that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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