ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
