I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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