You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Michael Bay diarrhea
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize