Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
