Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
