I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
