you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
