I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
