Screwed.edu
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
