Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
