A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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