last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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