How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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