A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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