i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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