JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
