Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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