this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize