Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
