i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
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That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I see more hoeing in ur future
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