I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
