i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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