Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
