I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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